Celebrate the little victories

Life sure changes in an instance. Priorities, the things we take for granted and the little things we celebrate. All of the sudden, things that were "important" or higher priorities, get kicked to the curb to make room for this journey. My baby crying, changing poopy diapers, and holding my baby as much as I can. Things that got "old" with my other newborns, have become something I look forward to now. Things I can't wait to do. Heavenly Father has a way to hep us get our priorities straight. This whole experience has been an amazingly spiritual journey. And probably will be for the rest of our lives. Things that have happened and things we have felt, that are too sacred to share. Our Heavenly Father knows us and gives us daily tender mercies to keep us going forward. Some days are easier than others. Some days getting through the shower without sobbing just isn't possible. And that's ok. Because this will be a life long rollercoaster of unknowns. will he hit his next milestone? or is this as far as he'll develop? will he ever talk? walk? feed himself? After this Sunday I believe he will. I expect him too. Because as latter day saints we should expect miracles. Our Heavenly Father is watching over us. And with enough faith, and work, we can wait for miracles to happen. Although Liam probably has about a 20% chance of walking out of this with minor problems, we know our Heavenly Father has a plan for him. Whatever it may be. But he's improving. Day by day. baby step by baby step. victories this week, I watched him suck on his pacifier for a good hour. and got to lift him up for a little bit. They started feedings on saturday but his tummy isn't liking it too much. So we wait. for his tummy to start feeling better. He'll hopefully be upgraded into a conventional ventilator. and then... I'll get to hold him. for the very first time. I'll be able to put him against me and feel his warmth. His spirit. I'll be whole again. It's amazing the love we have for our children after only knowing them for a few days. or even hours. He knows us. every time we talk to him he opens his eyes. I feel like I've known his spirit for a very long time. We're doing everything we can to keep the other kids' life as normal and routine as possible. Trying not to disrupt it too much. school, gymnastics, grocery shopping, dinner, bed time... as normal as we can so they feel secure. But oh how hard it is to leave Liam. I know he's in good hands. but I can't wait to see him every night. twice a day just isn't enough. I want him in my arms. Our family, our friends, neighbors, school teachers. Everyone is praying. everyone is being amazingly helpful with the rest of our lives. a big THANK YOU. to all of you. for all of your support. we really couldn't do it without you.