Eternally Grateful.

Eternally grateful. That's how I will feel for the rest of my life. I will look back at this really challenging time in our lives and feel so much thankfulness for the blessings that have poured onto us lately. I feel so completely overwhelmed by people's kindness lately. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the things family, friends and strangers have done for us. I wish I could express how thankful I am for all of it. and explain how much it means to us to have all the support and prayers we've been getting. Liam's progress shows it. He has so much love going his way that it's carrying him through this too. Never through all of this have I felt alone, or unloved or angry at the circumstances. We have felt so much comfort from the spirit. So much peace. We have NO idea what the future holds for Liam, but whatever it is, we are by his side. every single step of the way. with whatever he needs. And we can do this because God will be right next to him too. he'll carry him by one arm, and us the other. He can do this. Whatever the end holds. The biggest challenge of all of this is trying to juggle life, and life at the NICU. Trying to keep the other 3 kids happy. involved. and be present for them as much as possible. Derek visits Liam before work. I go at 10 to make it for his 11am care rounds. I leave the NICU at 2 to make it home for my kids after school and Derek and I go back together after the kids go down for the night till about 930pm. We try to sneak in visits as much as we can without being absent for the other kids and disrupting their lives. it's so hard. I'm exhausted. all the time. but we can do this. My mom and I took the kids to the mall on saturday to have them pick out a blanket to put on Liam's "bed". of course they picked fire trucks. Liam is making great progress. up to 2ml feedings of my milk every 3 hrs. His tummy finally seems to be handling it. and we can not be more grateful for it. This is big for his nutrition. so we pray he continues to handle it well. His respiratory is doing great. he is getting his settings lower and lower. the new concern that has come up is the swelling of one of his ventricles in his brain. it is enlarged due to poor draining of the spinal fluid. if it continues to grow, he will be moved up to primary's to get a shunt put into his brain that will help drain the fluid. We are HOPING and PRAYING that this will resolve itself and not grow any further so we can avoid that. The damage on his left side of the brain seems to be less severe than what they thought it'd be. The right side of the brain still shows "significant" damage. although they still tell us they won't know how it'll affect him. Or how his brain will rewire itself to regain that lost part. Angels are protecting him. And helping him. I know it. I can feel it when I'm by his bedside. The spirit is SO strong around him. I am SO incredibly honored to have this special little guy in my family. He makes me want to be a better person, and mother to him and his siblings at home. We can do this. whatever comes our way. Because we have amazing family and friends who will help us carry on. I have an amazing husband. Who makes me feel so secure and loved. As soon as I'm with him with his arms around me, all uncertainty goes away. Because with him by my side I know I can carry on with whatever it is that's coming our way.