BIG victories

Not only does Liam touch many people's hearts every day, but he also makes big improvements everyday. Some days less than other but yesterday was a big day. Liam was finally able to be taken off his intubation tube. If you ever want to watch a suspenful moment, watch your baby be switched from being intubated to being on a nasal cannula. He wiggled, a lot. it made me SO nervous. but the respiratory therapist was right next to me reassuring me everything was under control and that Liam could breathe just fine. He was just getting used to breathing instead of letting the machine do it for him. Throughout the night, he's been lowered on his oxygen levels and is back to the levels he was on the ventilator. He is doing GREAT on it. that makes this momma SO happy. His throat was a little inflamed from being intubated for 2 weeks so they gave him steroids to help that. But those raise his blood pressure, so he's on medicine for that too now. what a balance. it's an ART to keep this babies stable and happy. The doctor that gave me his update today said "today is probably his best day of life yet." he is doing GREAT. His extremity movements are symetrical and good. He seems comfortable and very strong. His tummy seems soft and has a good color today so they are going to try my milk again today. we'll see how he does with it this time. They have tried twice now to do a spinal tap on him to rule out infection, but have been unsuccesfull getting a good sample. it breaks my heart. But they say he handles them good and stays stable. He's off the billiruben lights now so he can be swaddled! it makes me look like a little snack size burrito. But he LOVES it. he is making leaps and bounds of progress. I finally got to hold him against my skin. He melted onto me. and my heart melted. he was completely content. and so was my heart. it was the closest he's felt to me since he was safe inside me. I sang to him for the two hours that they let me hold him. And I couldn't stop smiling. it was perfect. He will have to have an MRI when he is 6 months old so we know exactly the damage that was done to his brain. So we wait. and wait. Two weeks ago our life was crazy busy. With Derek building our house, two jobs, the kids' schedule, and just life in general. We had a full plate. And now, we have Liam. And his trials. However, I have never felt so secure, and happy and as close to my Heavenly Father as I do now. When life gets completely out of control and we feel like we have a plate that is overflowing on all sides we can turn to our Heavenly Father. He listens. He knows. And he cares for us. He won't let us fall. and if we do, He'll help us get up again and again. Sure there are days that I feel completely overwhelmed with life and our future. But the last few days, I've had a huge sense of peace. So much so that the sad tears are almost put away. Now I have tears of joy. Tears of the Holy Ghost telling me that everything will be fine. no matter what. Tears of the spirit reassuring me that he is there. to comfort me. to be strong for Liam, and my other kids. To make them all feel loved. The best I can. and when I feel like I just can't be there enough for either Liam of my other kids, he reasures me that I'm trying my best. And that Heavenly Father understands. My heart is so completely full of gratitude. for our family, friends, neighbors and complete strangers who have given SO much time and effort into helping us out with our kids, house, house work, food, laundry, and being there for us. I will never be able to express to anyone the complete humble heart I have torwards everyone helping us. I just want to pay it back to everyone. and I will.